| they say the end is comin', i'ma stay up for it. |
[Sep. 6th, 2007|07:00 pm] |
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what makes me really sad is that i pretend to be fearless and tough because on the inside, i'm so scared. i'm breaking down more and more everyday and it hurts sometimes because i think i'm in the situation where i love somebody more than they love me. that hurts. i don't know if thats a fact, but when your alone, you've got time to think about it. and i guess i just feel stuck in a rut. so to speak. i've been exploring parts of my mind. just thinking about how i react in different situations. not only how i react physically, like throwing, screaming, angry facial expressions, but the first thing that comes to mind, when something so minor and non-threating occurs. i just think of every negative possible outcome. and i think that's why people really fucking piss me off...... i know that all my fears and anxities are all in my head. forgodfuckingsakes, i know that. but, i just can't seem to get out of this mind fuck. which seems eternal. i just keep saying over and over, "in the end, all you have is yourself. only yourself to make you truly happy". but, i can't for the love of pete come to terms with what makes me happy. i really think i try to make myself feel miserable. i think i wear my heart on my sleeve. not all the time. it's kind of invisible. i'm the only one with the supersonicseethrough vision. yeah and you know what, people have it so much worse, but they just have better fucking coping skills. another thing that saddens me is that at least at one point in the day, i really wish i could of bled to death when i had the chance. |
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| osc |
[Jun. 12th, 2007|04:29 am] |
as soon as you sat down
i saw the look in your eyes
and without saying anything
i knew this wasn't going to be easy
please just sit with me
for a little while please
we'll talk about anything
our childhood, our dreams
we could be anything
bird's and the bee's
apples on trees. |
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| ,,,,,,,,,,,, |
[Mar. 11th, 2007|09:58 pm] |
i'm all alone even when i'm not
theres all these people, but it looks like i forgot
my smile, my heart, it's dying everyday
my eyes that we're blue, have turned to a grey
my soul has expired, growing weary , growing frail |
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| ewhre |
[Dec. 26th, 2006|08:28 pm] |
you've got my heart in your hands
and my lips are chapped from all this kissin'
we're touching, we're nothing, we're breathing heavily
it's heavenly
yeah, you've got all of me
you've got my body under yours
my legs, my lips, my cheeks all yours
there's no letting go
don't let me go |
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| man |
[Dec. 25th, 2006|12:35 am] |
i go to parties all the time
i walk, in feeling fine
i sit and smoke or sit and drink
i can't help but stop, stop to think
that half the guys in the room
told me they loved me at one point in my doom
and of course, i repeated those 3 words and added a 'too'
cause i'm an asshole and scumbag
and i don't care about you |
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| oh okay |
[Nov. 28th, 2006|11:46 pm] |
im a big idiot and kept forgetting my pass word. but, however, i am back and ready and pumped to use my livejournal. so how i have been you ask? well. very well. my partying has come to slow down. and im kind of okay with that. i kinda partyed to much, to fast, all the time. now its kind of boring. its just like well i already did that drug and i already drank all that last weekend..so. you know. but. i kinda feel creative so... YEahhh..
----------------------------------------------------------
i have 87 cents in my pocket, now my hand
if your hungry, let me know, ill buy you what i can
hey, look over there, it's a fruit stand
it's cheaper and your famished and your bodies shiverin'
you can have an apple for your heart
an orange for your soul
a pear for your pleasure
all those banana's look old
the grapes for the taste
cause they'll remind you of good wine
getting drunk, getting high, off a good time
and after you eat your meal of the day
we'll walk slow and faster or at a steadily rate
we'll join hands if were cold
sing songs of time old
all we have too look forward to is someone to hold
to kiss, to touch, to grab, too bold?
that's only how the stories unfold |
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